you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
