Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize