Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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