i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
