my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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