Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Randomize
