Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
