My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
