Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
organizing the empties. That sober.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Randomize
