kristin has been a bad kristin
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
