There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
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