I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
