Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I'm bleeding and have questions
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
