You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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