Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Randomize