Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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