For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
