She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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