I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
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