If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
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