The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
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