i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize
