No more Irish car bombs ever.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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