is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
