You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Randomize
