Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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