She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
