I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Are my feet made of real feet?
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
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