I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
i would one night stand the shit outta him
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Randomize
