i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
