I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Randomize
