Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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