I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Randomize
