CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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