is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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