your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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