If i come over, it means nothing
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Randomize
