me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
