Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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