halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
