Whod you bang
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Randomize