For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Randomize
