What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
