So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
I'm both gender and math confused
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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