I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Randomize
