Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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