i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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