you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
