Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
accomplished twins. life is a go
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
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