I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I am naked and annoyed.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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