I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
