6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
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