yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize