yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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