Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
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