Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
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