Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Randomize
