No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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