im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
