Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
