Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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